The struggles of teaching an adult dog how to use a patch of grass

Day 1: Here you go, buddy! Your new fresh patch of grass, just for you! Look, you can go to the bathroom in it on the patio. how cool is that! There you go, get in the box, good boy! Wait, no, don’t sit down in it. You're supposed to go pee.. you know, the same thing you do just right down the flights of stairs? No, nothing? Alright, this is gonna take a while. 30 minutes later. Still nothing? I know you have to go to the bathroom. Just go, right here, in this nice grass. Still nada, huh? Well fine, I have other things to do, you can stay out here until you decide to go. 10 minutes later. Max! No! Don't pee on the patio! Are you kidding me?! Aou had to get out of the box just to pee on the concrete?! Really?! Ugh.. let's go outside.

Day 2: Alright, let’s try this again. I will sit outside with you this time until you go. 1 hour later. Come on max, just go, then this will all be over. Alright well, you stay here and I am going to go grab something inside real quick. 2 seconds later. Max! Again?! On the patio! Omg. I get him back in the box in the middle of him peeing, hoping he will just continue, but nope, he sits there for 20 minutes again. Alright well clearly you aren’t going to go, I'm going to go do the dishes and watch you like a hawk. 5 minutes later. He gets out and starts peeing again. Smh.

Day 3: I have a thought! You always smell around in the grass outside and pee right away, so what if I tear out some of that grass and put it in the fresh patch of grass? Let’s try it! Here Max, outside, there you go- oh wow you are actually peeing! Right away too! Yes! This works! Easy peasy.

Day 4: Okay Max, same thing as yesterday, smell the grass and then go pee. Good boy. Well, uh no.. pee, don’t sit. Really? We are back at this again? What happened, you did so well yesterday! 45 minutes later. Okay well, I have stuff to do, let's just go outside then. I give up for today. Come on.

Day 5: Here we go again, I already know this is gonna take a while. Max you are to stay in this box until you go pee, you hear me? Every time you get out you pee on the concrete so you will just stay in the box this time…

Suffice to say it didn’t work and I gave up.